it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize