When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
