He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
