Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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