if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
