if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
