actually, I'm a sock model
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
