He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
