just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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