flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
