We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
