That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
