Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
