spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
