so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
