We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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