i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
