Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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