It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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