Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
