And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
