Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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