I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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