I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize