I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
