Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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