Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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