It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
