im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
