I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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