I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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