in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We left the knife in your bed.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
