i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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