I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
