I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
