It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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