Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
