Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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