it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize