Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
