the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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