i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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