Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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