it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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