sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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