We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
