Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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