Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
