dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
