Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
