Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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