who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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