We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
