She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
