i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
