just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
