I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
