I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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