hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
