i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
