come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
