On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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