Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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