There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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