I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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