The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
